In today’s busy and sometimes chaotic world, it is all too easy to ignore our well-being and forego time for ourselves, sending us into a seemingly never-ending grind. This neglect can lead to mental and physical health issues; feelings of depression, frustration, panic, resentment in our relationships, feeling sorry for ourselves, burnout, & under attack. All of this can ultimately bog us down into victimhood. “The world is against me!” type of thinking.

People who see themselves as victims practice at least one of the following trains of thought:

• Bad things happen and will keep happening.

• Other people or circumstances are to blame.

• Any efforts to create change will fail, so there’s no point in trying.

Avoiding responsibility for ones circumstances, not seeking solutions to problems, perpetuating a sense of powerlessness, and persistent self-sabotage or negative self talk are all aspects of a victim mentality.

My mission when I decided to start down this path of service as a Lightworker was to empower people to take control of their lives; to teach people that they are NOT the victims of the world around them. That’s why I wanted to talk about this sensitive subject today. For most of those living in victimhood it is a state of mind that has been cultivated over many years and most likely many negative situations. Some of us had no choice through traumatic experiences to embody the victim. That’s ok. We do what we have to do survive. But when we constantly allow ourselves to play the victim or be victimized, we are really just giving away our power. Looking to other people and giving them all the power for how we feel is the victim mentality. It’s completely abdicating responsibility for how we feel, because of some powerful perpetrator in our life. Think about that for just a minute. That’s big.

Victimhood is not a sign of weakness. It’s a belief pattern that we’ve established in our brain that affects our life, but it does not mean that we aren’t intelligent, capable, amazing people, and it certainly doesn’t mean that we’re not strong. It just means that we have this mentality, the looping in our brain, a certain train of thought. But today is the day for change! If this resonates with you then great! I am here to today to help you decide to change. I did it and so can you. Let’s get started!

Here are some of the ways I stopped being the victim: 

First, repeat the mantra,

“Happiness is a choice I make.” Say it with me, “Happiness is a choice I make.”

To reject the victim mentality and start living an empowered life, you have to agree and affirm that you are in control of your feelings. You have a choice. You have the power! Most of us when faced with a feeling we resist or reject it, bury it deep and try to move on. But we all know that doesn’t work. We have to learn to allow ourselves to feel the feeling without judgement, allow it to move through us, then release it with love. Got that? That was a lot. Read it again. Getting out of this mentality takes willingness, awareness, and practice. Oh yea, and self-love.

Second, decide to take your power back. I mentioned earlier how being in the victim mentality is a huge power leak. Again, be willing, be aware and practice. The reason why you are experiencing a negative emotion is because of a thought you’re thinking about the situation, not what someone said or did, but the thought you are giving it. That’s an important distinction! That’s a big one. If I’m the reason that I’m feeling shame in a certain moment, I still have all my power. If I give the credit (blame them) for feeling shame to another person, then I have then handed over my power to them and I am now in the victim mentality. To get out of victimhood we have to get out of blame and take responsibility for our energy, emotions, and feelings.

Byron Katie teaches when you’re willing to just accept the parts of you that aren’t perfect, you maintain your power. You maintain your ability to not be a victim, because nothing can be used against you if you admit it’s all true. So next time someone says or does something and you get the urge to blame them for your feeling, take a moment, breathe, and decide if you are going to give your energy to it. Can you acknowledge that none of us are perfect, that you don’t have any control of other peoples behavior or opinions, and allow yourself to move on? Can you maintain your integrity of self-esteem?

These are big questions. Not easy breezy things to think about. Be gentle with yourself. Be self-forgiving. Again, be willing, be aware and practice.

Last thing for toady…

It is crucial that you make time for “me-time” to take care of yourself and relieve some stress. Do not feel selfish about it because when you take care of yourself, you are better able to take care of those around you. There are no hard and fast rules for pursuing a self-love practice. Anything that refreshes you and makes you feel happy is a pathway to better well-being., better self-love, and stronger self-esteem.

• Spend some time alone in a calm, quiet place. You can go for a morning walk or drink a cup of tea on the porch, but whatever it is that you do, don’t bring along your tablet, laptop, or phone.

• Analyze your life from a positive perspective. Acknowledge your accomplishments and encourage yourself to keep moving forward. Take time to celebrate even the smallest victories.

• Read your favorite book or some poetry.

• Focus your energy on inner beauty, rather than outward beauty. What makes you feel good? When we feel good we exude an inner glow reflecting our natural beauty.

• Get up early in the morning, eat healthy throughout the day, exercise or practice some meditation, and go to bed early. This simple, healthy routine will keep your mind, body, and soul refreshed and on the right track.

• Spending time with your loved ones is food for the soul. We all need attention, love, and time to feel energized and refreshed. Here are some ways you can maximize your time with your family, partner, children, or other important people. (note here: choose people that lift you up! if your family drives you crazy, then they are not the choice for the me-time.)

  • Plan specific activities that you love to do with your partner or kids, like a trip to a theme park or a movie night. These little trips will remind you how much you enjoy these people in your life and will help you focus on them.

  • Try new or creative ways to communicate with your partner and children one-on-one to promote feelings of mutual love and respect.

• Use positive, affirming words to give off positive vibes.

Loving yourself is a big step toward loving and caring for other people. Being the victim serves no one, especially you; take charge of your emotions and your reactions, and empower yourself! You can do this! I got you.

If you are feeling called to take the next step, contact me to set up a clarity call. Together we will discuss your healing journey, and make an action plan to get you to your goal.

If one-on-one coaching isn’t your thing, but you are ready to make a change, I have a super easy & approachable 14 day course, that will help you create healthy habits, and rid your body of toxicity and inflammation in a safe and natural way. For the price of 1 meal at a restaurant you can start changing your life, step-by-step at your own pace over a 2 week period. Check out the 14 Days to Vibrant Health Course here.

Namaste,

-   Dr. Lara

P.S.

Don’t forget! Join me on my Facebook page,facebook.com/drlaramay,  as well as Instagram & Twitter @drlaramay. Also, be sure to tune into my podcast on your favorite platform, iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Podbean or Anchor.Fm @Light Body Radio to get all the juicy info coming your way in a easily digestible format. I look forward to hearing your feedback, comments and suggestions.

Sources cited:

https://www.healthline.com/health/victim-mentality#responding-to-it

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