You Aren't Living in the Flow if You Are Stuck in Judgement
This week’s blog is not an easy topic. Judgment. Even just the word can be uncomfortable.
None of us can ignore the charged times we are living in right now. My intention for the post this week is to help us all see through the lens of compassion and understanding. I want to help you find moments of calm, moments of spirituality when the contrast shows up in your life.
My word for 2020 came to me in Nov of 2019 at a retreat I was attending in the mountains of western Massachusetts. I knew it would be FLOW. Throughout this year I have written about different aspects of flow and how we can bring them to the forefront of our daily lives. We are now at the midpoint of 2020. Are you where you expected yourself to be in January? I can tell you I am not. 2020 has been a rollercoaster, to say the least running the gamut from COVID to politics to economic uncertainty, etc.
According to Merriam Webster’s definition, flow means “to move with a continual change, to proceed smoothly and readily, to have continuity, a smooth uninterrupted movement or progress.” With this in mind at the midpoint of 2020, it’s a good to evaluate our year so far and look forward to the next 6 months. That’s why I think examining the role of judgment in our lives is a good vantage point to make this evaluation and set intentions for the rest of the year.
It is in our human nature to judge. It is a deeply ingrained instinctual survival mechanism to judge the level of threats and danger around us. But being in a constant state of judgment can really throw us down a deep dark hole of despair if we allow it to go unchecked. When we are in a state of judgment, we are less than or better than. When we are in a state of judgment we are disconnected from Source/Spirit/ our Higher Selves. When we judge, we deny our oneness, our connectedness, by focusing on what divides us. If we are living in judgment we cannot also be in a state of flow. Flow demands non-judgement.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m in a judgment cycle life feels disjointed, bumpy. Some things might go my way, then others seem to slap me in the face. It’s like whiplash from those moments when I am in the flow, then BAM! I’m whipped around when I judge a coworker or family member. It is definitely not smooth. But we have a choice! We have the power to choose again, to choose a different path, a different way of thinking, and even being.
Our choice, our opportunity, is to unhook from past patterns by separating the difference between choice and judgment. We have the choice to find spiritual moments in the contrast, in the negative. We have the opportunity to not even call an experience negative, but appreciate all the spectrums of energy as teaching moments. We have the opportunity and the choice to see every shadow as a gift to learn more, to go deeper, to stop being afraid of the pain we feel or not taking action in order to avoid an unpleasant feeling. But how? How do we break our judgement cycle?
Step 1: Awareness
Like so many other processes I have coached you through, the first step is being aware of where you are now. Take inventory of where you judge others, where, and how you judge yourself. But do this without judging or beating up on yourself. Be willing to take an honest but gentle look at the role judgment plays in your daily life with family, with work, how do you talk to yourself?
Judgment is Wiley. It sneaks into our thoughts and our behavior patterns, so much so that we might no even realize we are doing it. That is the power of step 1. Just be willing to shed light on your judgment.
Step 2: See the other person as you
We put great efforts into protecting ourselves from uncomfortable people and situations. We separate ourselves from those of opposite political opinions, from people that have hurt us, from anything that makes us uncomfortable. From the purpose of being and staying safe, that is necessary and appropriate. Seeking safety in separation, though, can be very dangerous from the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual perspectives.
Feelings of separation on any level creates deep pain, depression, loss of sense of belonging to this world, and the greater humanity. So much so that you may start to question your existence on this planet.
To survive and thrive during this crazy time we are called to transform the pain of separation. We do that by knowing and acknowledging that the other person is you.
Yogi Bhajan's Five Sutras of the Aquarian Age: Recognize that the other person is you.
Within all the crazy, the hate, the fighting, protesting, etc that is happening right now I believe we are being challenged and called to focus on the oneness within us all, not the duality. Seeing the other person as you diffuses judgment and restores the perspective of oneness in all, as a continuum of souls on this planet.
"We can only truly see ourselves reflected in another person. If we admire qualities in another, we are only seeing those same qualities in ourselves. These qualities may not yet be developed or expressed. On the flip side, if we see qualities that we dislike in another—again, we are only seeing ourselves—perhaps a disowned part called the shadow. The more we identify with our ego, the more judgmental we will be toward others and the more we will project our own personality traits onto others.”
– Guruka Singh Khalsa
So my call and challenge to you for the next two weeks is
Bring nonjudgmental awareness to your judgments. Be gentle. Be kind. Be honest.
See the other person as you. Choose love. Choose compassion.
When you catch yourself in the middle of a gossip session, ask yourself how are you judging.
When you are watching the news are talking politics, ask yourself how are you judging.
When you are complaining about a coworker, ask yourself how are you judging.
Once you catch yourself in the throws of judgement, then take a moment to see the other person as you. What disowned part of yourself are you judging in them? How are you using separation and judgement to protect yourself? Can you see the vulnerability in the other person? Can you see their hurt, their pain? Can you send them some compassionate kindness energetically?
Healing judgement is not a quick fix process and there are more steps than I presented here today. But I encourage you to start with these two steps and see how your words, thoughts, behaviors, and experiences change after two weeks of consistent practice and awareness. I would love to hear your experiences, feedback etc. We are all in this together. Although these are challenging times, we are not alone. We have each other. We are all connected.
If you are feeling separated and needing some guidance and connection, contact me to set up a clarity call. Together we will discuss your healing journey, and make an action plan to get you realigned and connected with your Soul purpose.
If one-on-one coaching isn’t your thing, but you are ready to start make a change, I have a super easy & approachable 14 day course, that will help you create healthy habits, and rid your body of toxicity and inflammation in a safe and natural way. For the price of 1 meal at a restaurant you can start changing your life, step-by-step at your own pace over a 2 week period. Check out the 14 Days to Vibrant Health Course here.
Namaste,
- Dr. Lara
P.S.
Don’t forget! Join me on my Facebook page,facebook.com/drlaramay, as well as Instagram & Twitter @drlaramay. Also, be sure to tune into my podcast on your favorite platform, iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Podbean or Anchor.Fm @Light Body Radio to get all the juicy info coming your way in a easily digestible format. I look forward to hearing your feedback, comments and suggestions.
Sources for this post:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/flow
https://www.3ho.org/3ho-lifestyle/5-sutras-aquarian-age/1st-sutra-recognize-other-person-you
https://www.3ho.org/3ho-lifestyle/5-sutras-aquarian-age/1st-sutra-recognize-other-person-you/other-person-you
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